Labels
Labels, labels, labels. Growing up, I was slapped with all sorts of them. "Too sensitive, shy, quiet, antisocial." My family, my teachers, even other adults joined the labeling party. I don't hold any hard feelings now, but back then, they didn't realize how those words would stick in sweet baby Yuri's mind like subconscious limits. What if, instead of being called "too sensitive," I was told I was a deep lover, an empathetic soul, a dreamer, and a thoughtful being?
Now, let me tell you, there were other labels that were put on me that weren’t so sweet or empowering. Oh no. There was a moment during my freshman year of college when my advisor (fuck you señora p. smith) anyyyway…… she had the audacity to tell me I wasn't smart enough to be premed, not even for premed, just college in general. She said it wasn’t “for me.” I totally get college isn’t for everybody, that’s great, but she wasn’t saying that. She was not uplifting nor promoting alternative options, it was fuuuuucked up. Can you believe it? Little Yuri, feeling like a tiny dumb fish in an ocean full of smartass whales. It hit me hard, like a punch to the gut. This paralyzed me, but I didn’t know what this was.
After that soul-crushing moment, I struggled. I tried my best to make my parents proud, tried to do well in my courses, but something was off. It was as if I was wearing a scarlet letter that screamed "dumbass" to the world, like everyone could see what this advisor could see. Had I been faking it the entire time. Was the jig up? I became depressed, I questioned life, I felt like I just sucked in general and was wasting space on this planet. I spiraled down into a lonely and dark place, believing that this educated adult knew best. When I finally opened up to my folks about my grades and my struggles, did they hug me and assure me that everything would be okay? Fuck no, They were livid, disappointed, and saw me as a failure. Their words, not mine. I felt like I had let them down because they worked hard to pay for my classes. Remember they are all about education and career. I talked to them about feelings and they just saw lazy and unmotivated.
Those were not the prettiest days of my life, but they were necessary for my story. I remember just feeling so worthless day after day thinking I let everyone down. Who cares what people think, right? At the time, I did. I cared a lot and it was debilitating. Nobody offered help, not from lack of love but I think from a place of anger and ignorance. Over time I kept questioning why I was like this and why I basically sucked. I wasn’t getting an answer from thin air so I started my self- healing journey. I asked for help. I did the work and it was hard fucking work. I went to the psychiatrist, therapist, counselor’s, took the medication, changed medications, saw the shaman, cleared my chakras, talked to healers…so much work and I am eternally grateful.
But let me tell you something, friend. It doesn't matter what they think. Their hurtful words don't define you. In those moments, try to empathize with them, put yourself in their shoes. Perhaps they're having a terrible day, battling their own demons. It helps to see the situation for what it truly is. You don't have to fight back or let their words pierce your soul. Practice positive indifference and let their negativity bounce right off you. I think it was necessary for me to go through all of that so that I could help others see the other side of what they perceive to believe is their label. Yes, do all the self- healing work. Talk to therapist, learn, grow, but I’m here to tell you that you can skip over all the other bullshit, because that’s what it was.
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Basically,
I cared about what others thought, and if I could I would go back and hug little Yuri and tell her how special and amazing she is. Hurt people hurt people, it sucks. Just be a good human being, love life, and do good things for others without expecting anything in return. Trust me, knowing who you are and loving yourself unconditionally—it's a game-changer. Take the time to heal, seek help if needed. If I knew then what I know now I could have been saved from the heartache, depression, self-labeling, and from a lonely dark place I put myself in. I know that feeling but now I know who I am. I empathize with people and when they say hurtful things or act in a way that doesn’t jive with me, it now just dissipates. In one ear out the other. I love myself and know who I am, unbothered and untouchable.
So, if you've ever felt less than because of someone else's words, I want you to know this: It doesn't matter. Your feelings matter, but their hurtful words? Irrelevant. Instead of fighting back or letting it crush you, let it dissipate into thin air. You have the power to see through the pain, to understand that those who lash out are often carrying their own burdens. You don’t have to fight back, cry or believe every single word. I like to call this positive indifference and I apply it on the daily now.
***You are loved, you matter and you are so worthy!
Love & Guidance
Recognize the power of labels: Labels can be influential and shape our perception of ourselves and others. Acknowledge that the labels others have placed on you are not an accurate reflection of your worth or potential. You are more than the words others have used to describe you.
Reframe negative labels: Take a moment to reframe the negative labels by focusing on your positive qualities and strengths. Instead of accepting the limitations imposed by others, embrace your unique traits and talents. Choose to define yourself based on your own perception and self-awareness.
Seek support and validation: Surround yourself with supportive individuals who appreciate and celebrate your true self. Seek validation from those who recognize your worth and encourage your personal growth. Engage in conversations and activities that uplift and empower you.
Practice self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself and show self-compassion as you navigate the impact of labels. Understand that everyone makes mistakes and faces challenges. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would treat a close friend.
Challenge negative self-talk: Pay attention to the negative self-talk that may have stemmed from the labels others imposed on you. Replace self-limiting beliefs with positive affirmations and nurturing thoughts. Remind yourself of your worth and the unique qualities that make you special.
Engage in self-discovery and self-acceptance: Take time to explore who you truly are and what brings you joy. Engage in activities that align with your passions and values. Embrace your authentic self and learn to accept and love all aspects of who you are.
Practice positive indifference: Instead of allowing hurtful words and actions from others to affect your self-esteem, practice positive indifference. Recognize that hurtful behavior often stems from the pain and struggles of the person projecting it. Choose not to internalize their negativity and let it bounce off you. Focus on your own self-worth and prioritize your emotional well-being.
Seek professional help if needed: If the impact of labeling has deeply affected your mental well-being, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance and tools to help you heal from past wounds and build a positive self-image.
Remember, the labels others place on you do not define your worth. You are a unique individual with your own strengths, dreams, and potential. Embrace your authenticity and surround yourself with people who appreciate and uplift you for who you truly are. You deserve love, respect, and happiness.
