Uno reversed my a**

Divorce update:

It's been weird, but it's happening. Attorneys and all. It's been a tough one to swallow, but I know in my heart of hearts that I loved this man so much and only wanted the same in return. I asked for love, and he asked ME for the divorce. He asked me about my financial goals, and I didn't know what to say but, "What the fuck are you talking about?" He wanted to ensure we were aligned with HIS financial planning before investing in our marriage—things he should have told me years ago.

His plans, his retirement, his newly adopted conservative lifestyle, his savings. And I probably don't even have to say what he thought of "our home and our money... it's not and it's mostly his, and I should be grateful for anything I'd be gifted from the divorce.

Flabbergasted.

Seriously, he will attest to this. He is a finance guy and wanted to make sure I was worth the risk. I clearly wasn't— to him, and he happily gave me what he thought was a solid offer, told me I had a car and an engagement ring I could sell. Completely fucking flabbergasted. He suggested I speak with an attorney so that they could confirm just how good a deal he was giving me?

My husband's actions showed that he wanted a simple-minded mail-order bride who doesn't have an opinion, no goals, no needs, no feeling? I really don’t know. Just private parts and a pretty face? That really sucked for him because that's not me, and it was sad to have to go through all of this to learn how to navigate through stuff like this.

I truly loved this man. He is sweet, and I feel for him. His decisions have been selfish and impulsive. I know a lot of marriages end in divorce nowadays, but I never thought that would be part of my story. I married for love, and my person married for tax purposes. I trusted him with my entire life, and he was ready to deliver me back to my parents with a pretty little bow on my head.

Financially, it's been tough. Emotionally, worse... but as the days go on, I'm feeling better. I've learned a lot through these past couple of years, and I'm grateful for everything that's happened. Yes, even this. While it sucks, had this not occurred, I might have still been sitting at home, feeling numb, unloved, unworthy, and hoping to get even the smallest amount of affection.

Self-love is crucial. I love myself so much that I'm unwilling to be treated poorly just because it's my husband, my boss, or my family. Those aren't good enough excuses anymore. We all deserve to be treated with love, kindness and respect, and if others don't think you are worthy of that, well, sweetheart, that has nothing to do with you. You mirror what they lack. What they need to work on, their projections of self onto you and others. That has nothing to do with you. You are worthy of all the love, and if somebody doesn't see that, give them the space to find it in themselves.